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Some use violent video game parties to attract students through the church doors on Friday nights.Over the past year I've conducted dozens of interviews with 20-somethings who have walked away from their Christian faith.It's fired up entertainment and watered down gospel.The entertainment emphasis can be traced back at least a generation, and perhaps nowhere was the impact felt more profoundly than in youth programs.But your teen's need for a little space stems from her development from teen into young adult and eventually, fully-functioning adult.While it might be hard to step back, giving space within healthy parameters can actually help your teen become more mature and fortify your parent-child relationship.A few years ago I volunteered at an event put on by a national youth ministry. We bobbed for apples, captured flags, and raced eggs across the floor using only our noses.The games culminated with a frigid indignity: I lay on my back and let three giggling teenagers make an ice cream sundae on my face. Who cares about something that involves no adventure, no sacrifice, and no risk?

As a parent, the amount of space you give your teen should be calculated based upon her past decisions and your level of trust.Among the most surprising findings was this: nearly all of these "leavers" reported having positive experiences in youth group. "There are a lot more fun things to do at college than eat pizza." Good point.I recall my conversation with one young man who described his journey from evangelical to atheist. I asked Josh Riebock, a former youth pastor and author of , to solve the riddle: If these young people had such a good time in youth group, why did they ditch their faith shortly after heading to college? If our strategy is to win young people's allegiance to church by offering better entertainment than the world, then we've picked a losing battle.He had nothing but vitriol for the Christian beliefs of his childhood, but when I asked him about youth group, his voice lifted. Entertainment might get kids to church in their teens, but it certainly won't keep them there through their twenties.And recent studies confirm that they're leaving in droves.Of course, it's a two-way street -- your teen must earn your trust before you give it freely, and it can be taken away when she takes advantage of her new-found freedom inappropriately.